#156: Final Destination: Bloodlines
Release Date: May 16th, 2025
Format: Theater (Cinemark at The Pike Outlets in Long Beach, CA)
Written by: Guy Busick and Lori Evans Taylor
Directed by: Zach Lipovsky and Adam Stein
2.5 Stars
Full disclosure: I’ve never seen a minute of the first five Final Destination films, but after watching directors Zack Lipovsky and Adam Stein’s newest entry, Final Destination: Bloodlines, I think I get the drill.
Shot in drab digital photography and set in soulless, generic small-town America (but clearly shot in greater Vancouver B.C.) the story is about people who “cheat” Death, and a vengeful Death at that. Then, through elaborate Rube Goldstein-esque series of events, Death finally catches up in shocking, brutal fashion.
The direction, dialogue, and performances are 100% pure-grade ham. It looks bad, it’s dumb (really dumb), and it barely moves you from point A to point B in the story, namely those gruesomely fun set pieces.
But if you can handle how dumb this movie is, those set pieces don’t disappoint, especially the opening scene, set in a fictional 1960s Space Needle-esque grand opening. That scene, and the backyard BBQ scene, are a lot of fun and I was laughing like an idiot in the theater.
But did Bloodlines inspire me to go back and watch the preceding five Final Destination films?
I’m dumb, but I’m not that dumb.